The life of a teen is filled with challenges. 18-year-old Debbie Thornton looks at those she thinks top the list. What are the main issues facing teenagers today? That question was put to me a while ago, and I’m struggling to come to any definite conclusions. If an adult was asked that question, they would say “peer pressure”. But are they right? Or do they just not have a clue? One thing for sure is that we teens do face a lot of pressures every day.
The pressure to look good
For both boys and girls, weight and looks are an issue. The media feed us with images of ‘perfect people’ or the latest celebrity diet. There’s no doubt that constantly seeing these pictures would lead one to doubt him or herself. In some magazines they show celebrities on their non-makeup days. For once we see their human side and think, wow, so she isn’t that perfect after all! Then you realise that the mag is slagging them off because they don’t look perfect.
But I look ‘rough’ most days of the week. Are they saying I don’t look okay? Is it wrong not to be perfect? What the media portray is often a false reflection of real life, but it’s hard to keep that in mind and stop yourself from thinking you’re ugly, or overweight.
Being fashionable
As I get older, I care less and less about the labels I have on my clothes. Maybe it’s because I’m more aware of the value of money, but I’m less willing to spend a fortune on one item when I could get three for the same money.
It’s very hard when you’re in your early teens. Everyone in school has their Nike or Adidas runners, and everything seems to be compared in monetary terms. “How much were your runners?” “They were €150.” “Oh, mine were €175.” The person with the more expensive runners seems slightly superior. When I was thirteen my parents didn’t understand that. They didn’t see that you actually lose confidence when you don’t have what your friends have.
As you get older, attitudes change, and the person who paid less will be laughing, thinking I got a better deal! But still, when it comes to being fashionable, we teens definitely feel under pressure.
The issues our parents heap on us
They may not always realise it, but parents put a lot of pressure on us. Not just academic pressure, but often pressure to do things we’re not really interested in, like sport or a hobby they enjoyed when they were our age.
If your family owns a business, or are all in the same profession, they could automatically assume that you’re going to join the firm, or study to be in that profession. They could even be making casual remarks to their friends, saying how you’re going to take over the business one day!
A lot of parents nag, and sometimes you can feel like they’re not happy with the person you are. If they’re constantly fussing, telling you to change your clothes, or your hair style or colour, it can wear you down – not just tick you off. If they don’t think you fit into their circle, or are even an embarrassment, it can be very hard to stay confident in yourself.
If you have exams coming up, and you know you’re not as academic as an older brother or sister, but your parents don’t seem to understand, it’s harder for you. You can feel like a disappointment to your parents. Many teens will be lucky enough not to experience this, but it’s a pressure a lot of us feel.
You’re not having sex?
Lots of teens in relationships feel that having sex is the norm. Let’s face it, sex is inescapable. It’s everywhere you look. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not having sex, both of you could feel some pressure.
Your friends may be asking if you’ve started sleeping with each other yet, and although they don’t mean to be adding to the pressure, in some cases they are.
If you don’t talk about the topic with your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you’re probably thinking, do they want to have sex? Or would he/she leave me if I asked him/her to wait? Can we not have a relationship without having sex?
It’s hard to talk to parents about it; we often feel they probably wouldn’t understand. Sex is a very big issue with teens today. It’s also one that could have very serious consequences.
Sexuality
Society puts huge pressure on people to conform – and not just teens. It’s difficult to be homosexual today, but it’s especially hard for teenagers. We’re at a stage in life where we’re discovering who we are and trying to gain independence. When someone is confused about their sexuality, they go through lots of emotions. The fear of rejection by family and friends, the courage needed to accept themselves as they are, can cause huge stress and anxiety.
Peer Pressure
Smoking, drinking and taking drugs can all be initiated by peer pressure. To be honest, I haven’t come across it too much in my life. I was offered a cigarette when I was about eight or nine, and I took it because I wanted to. I wanted to be cool, and I wanted to know what the fuss was about. No one said, “Go on, Debbie, smoke it!” My friend was offered one too, and she said no, and that was fine. I smoked a few now and then, not inhaling, just liking it being in my hand. I felt really grown up. I knew it was ‘bold’. I thought about it one day after someone said something about it causing cancer. I knew cancer was in my family, so the next time I was offered one I said no, and that was it!
I felt a little more pressure to drink, but it was mainly from myself. I saw everyone else doing it and thought I had to, to fit in. I didn’t have to, though. Standing up for yourself if you feel pressured by others shows how strong you are, but it is difficult.
Look at the situation, make a decision whether you want to do it or not, and then act on it. If your friends don’t take you seriously, say it again, and be true to the decision you have made for yourself. You’ll probably find that whatever consequence you thought saying no was going to bring, it didn’t happen, or at least it was only temporary. Those who thought the same but were not strong enough to act on it will respect you.
These are the main pressure I think teens face today. We all come across most of them as we get older. Life’s not easy, but if we have confidence in ourselves and treat ourselves and others with respect, we can get through these years successfully.
This article first appeared in Face-Up, a teen magazine produced by the Irish Redemptorists.
