For Eileen and Brian Foley, their daughter Catherine has been a blessing and a joy, in spite of her severe health problems.
‘Catherine,
I am the Lord your God,
I have called you by name….
You are mine.’
Catherine was born on New Year’s Eve 1993, a day my husband Brian and I will never forget. We were so looking forward to this new life; this unique wonderful being that would be born. It had been amazing to look at the scans and see this little body develop and grow. She was and is a miracle.
Early Hopes
When she was born she was just amazing; wonderful to behold. It was incredible to see her, to hold her, to marvel at her creation and gift to us. Our lives had changed dramatically.
She was still in hospital in February, but we were allowed to bring her out for an hour on the 11th for her christening. It was a special time for us, a celebration, a welcoming into the community of God. We had many friends who celebrated this sacrament with us. It was a very special occasion, made more significant because Catherine was in hospital and we were not sure what was wrong.
She got out a couple of days later and we thought all was well. But it wasn’t – her hearing and babbling stopped in June and we were referred to a specialist who in turn referred us to another paediatric specialist. We thought we were going to get her hearing ‘sorted out’. Nothing had prepared us for the shock when the doctor told us that Catherine had very serious health problems and she would have to undergo a whole range of tests.
Bad News
It was devastating to hear that there were major problems, and not to have a name for her condition was very stressful. She had so many tests and we had so many specialists to see. At each visit we would build ourselves up with an expectation of hearing what was wrong. Catherine still has no diagnosis. She is likely to always need twenty four hour care. She has severe learning difficulties, very low muscle tone throughout her body, and is delayed in all aspects of her development except size. (She is nearly six but wears nine to ten year old clothes!)
Hopeful Signs
We were told that she may never walk and we had to do hours of intensive physiotherapy with her every day. When she was two years and three months old, on Good Friday, she took her first short wobbly steps. It was such a gift to see her walk and very moving.
Her vocalisation also improved, and after a year of speech therapy she uttered her very first word ‘twinkle!’.
She has major problems with her sleep, and has only slept two full nights, on a visit to Lourdes three years ago. We joked about having to move to the South of France, but it was still a little miracle for us to remember.
Catherine would also have many autistic tendencies which make communication difficult for her. She is easily frustrated, especially if there is any change in even the smallest part of her daily routine.
Time For School
Her day needs to be very structured and the school she goes to is wonderful; the people who care for her and encourage her to reach her full potential are wonderful. All the staff in school are very friendly and very supportive of Catherine and of us as a family. There is a vision to provide all kinds of activities to encourage and care for each child as a unique individual.
Simple things like a diary provide a means of letting us know the activities Catherine has been involved in during the day. It is really brilliant to hear that she loves singing, enjoys assembly and engages in all kinds of exciting things like painting, music, physical education and shopping trips.
She loves riding on the swings, and going to the park to feed the ducks.
A Capacity To Love
She has an amazing capacity to touch other people’s lives by her very presence. To see her smile and be happy is wonderful and sometimes when she is out in her buggy she would say hello and bye-bye. People often respond by smiling.
She finds it very difficult to relate to and communicate with children and much prefers the company of an adult. It’s as if she feels more secure and safe.
Children are too unpredictable for her and she becomes frightened and distressed in any unfamiliar environment.
At times she has an incredible sensitivity to what is going on around her.
God is with her in a very special way. It is difficult to put into words but there is something very special about her and she is very spiritual.
She has a great capacity to enjoy the simple things in life. She loves nature and has a real sense of God’s presence in the elements: walking in a storm or being pushed into the wind in her buggy give her so much pleasure – she laughs and laughs.
Music Touches Her Soul
She has been gifted with a wonderful appreciation of music. She just loves it, and music became a way through which she could learn and communicate. She has great rhythm and perfect tone.
Both Brian and myself are involved in folk music and every Sunday we sing in the choir. Catherine loves the music, and joins in with the singing. It really helps her to relax and become calmer.
Sometimes when her behaviour is difficult music can help calm her down.
Living For The Moment
Swimming gives her great pleas-ure and we could easily spend an hour in the pool. She has a great sense of fun and can enjoy life. Above all, she has an amazing capacity to live for the moment – living for the now and not focusing on the past or wondering what the future will bring.
She has taught us so much about life and living for the moment. At times things are difficult and stressful and it is hard to understand why.
We worry about her and want things to be right for her. Our desire is that she always knows love and security and has the capacity to live life to the full, to continue to celebrate life in her own way, which is unique. She is a gift to us which we are blessed to have.
Our Teacher
Catherine challenges us every day. She teaches us about life, about God, about relationships.
There are people who have supported us and who love Catherine lots. Grandparents and close friends have given us so much support, love and encouragement. At times we have shed many tears but we have had many occasions to laugh heartily, to appreciate Catherine’s ability to do so many things that we thought she would never be able to do.
Thank You
Each day is a new day and there are elements of surprise waiting for us.
We thank God for Catherine for she has been gifted to us.
by Eileen and Brian Fole
