Lindsay tells her faith story!
Growing up was difficult. I had a violent alcoholic father, and my mother was in self-denial, saying there was nothing wrong. I was very shy growing up. I kept to myself and I didn’t do much socialising. I went to Sunday Mass but my faith was only skin deep. It had not taken root, and I never questioned my belief in the Catholic Church. Eventually I moved to Brussels, Belgium. What a change!
I started drinking, smoking and meeting men. Soon I was dabbling in drugs. However, drugs never ruled me. I would only occasionally take them at weekends (thank God). I eventually moved in with my boyfriend and after two years the relationship turned sour. I was working in the European Commission at the time. I moved out and found a flat not far from the Commission building. I was going out all the time and drinking a lot. One weekend I went over to London to see my brother. He gave me an ectasy tablet – my first and last. I will never forget that night. I nearly died.
When I went back to Brussels my health started to deteriorate. I was also in a very stressful situation at the time. I started to suffer from delusions and I had stopped sleeping. I was walking the town at night. God only knows how I wasn’t attacked. I got into a few hairy situations. Before my health started to deteriorate I was out one night with my friend Clare. This guy told her to tell me that I should go back to Church. Of course this went in one ear and out the other. However, when I started to have my breakdown, that is exactly where I went – back to Church.
Finally I went home and was taken into a psychiatric hospital where I was medicated for my condition. I stayed at home for about a year and then I was offered a job in a town not far from home. The most amazing thing happened then. I was out one evening and suddenly I felt like going to Mass, and I have been going to daily Mass ever since. What drew me back to Mass every day was the comforting words of Jesus telling his people how He loves us with an unconditional love. And that’s exactly what I needed to hear – God telling us He loves us and cares for us and wants to give us the fullness of His life on this earth and eventually lead us to everlasting life.
After a time I started to sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I received so much healing and love from sitting before Jesus there. Today I am not fully healed. I am still on medication for my illness. However, I have the peace of Christ in my heart; I have an ardent love for Jesus and a desire to draw near to my God every day of my life. Thank you, Jesus, for finding me – one of your lost sheep. You certainly carried me back on your shoulders. I praise you, Jesus, and I thank you.
by Lindsay
